Okay, I realised that.. I'm fucking not okay. Not since yesterday, after I came home. Or maybe earlier, just that the outing with them cheered me up. I'm fucking feeling like shit. And since this is my blog, I should fucking vent all the shit on it. Although some people out there would probably gloat over this. If only you knew everything. But I guess you never will cos I won't say. Although things would perhaps be better if I did. Fuck, I feel so fucked up. Everything that has happened. All the shits. All the lies. All the crap. Fuck, I know I am dense. Fucking stupid. I fucking ruined something important to me just because of this. And fuck, I don't want all this to happen. I fucking don't. Who in the right mind would want it to. Since people assumed that I'm the villain. I don't wish to explain myself cos no amount of explanation would clear this shit. And I don't deny that I'm in the fucking wrong. But fuck, don't push everything to me. All these nights, fuck, all I have to do is think and my tear glands would start running like a fucking water tap. Fuck. It ain't worth it I know. Yes, I fucking brought it upon myself. So go ahead and laugh. You deserve a lil laughter. And I don't blame those you for hating me. I deserve it. Yes, I fucking do. But I seriously fucking don't want all this to happen. It just fucking did.
I will be fine. I know I will.
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